Elizabeth's Story--Daniel's Birth
-Arlington, VA
Daniel officially joined our family on Wednesday, September 10, at 5:11 pm, after just over 3 hours of active labor. He weighed 8 lbs, 3 oz, was 19 inches long, and had a 13.5 inch head. His birth was fast and furious, just like his big brother’s, and it was great – it went exactly how I had envisioned it would go! I felt him descending, I caught him in the water of our birth pool, and I had my loving family all around me, helping me through it. It really was the birth experience of my dreams.
The story really starts at 2 am that morning, as I woke up with contractions that were just strong enough to keep me from sleeping. They were pretty irregular, varying from 4 to 10 minutes apart, and didn’t yet feel like “real” labor, but I figured things might be starting soon. Since I couldn’t sleep, I roamed around the house a bit, had a snack, and did pelvic rocks every few minutes – the baby had been posterior throughout the whole pregnancy, and I was anxious to have him/her turn before labor really got going. I felt some good squirming around, but wasn’t sure that the turn had happened. About 4 am, I decided to wake up My husband and have him time some contractions with me, just to be sure I wasn’t missing something (like I had during My son’s birth, which happened much faster than I had expected!). At 5 am, when everything was still irregular and not very strong, we both decided to go back to bed. I didn’t actually sleep much, just getting a little doze in before waking up at 6 am. I was supposed to go into work, finishing up my last week before maternity leave started, but I was really tired after not sleeping for much of the night, so even though there wasn’t anything going on labor-wise at that point, I called and left a message for my boss, letting him know I wouldn’t be in the office but that I would work a little from home. I also called the midwife to give her a heads-up that although everything was quiet now, I had had a sleepless night with lots of contractions, and that I thought the baby might have turned, as it seemed like I could feel a baby bottom on my belly, instead of the legs I’d been feeling all along. I worked for about 1.5 hours and managed to get an hour or so of sleep in the morning, then just puttered around the house for a while. Contractions were back to the usual Braxton-Hicks level they’d been at for a few weeks, coming 3-4 every hour or so.
After lunch I decided to bake a cake to occupy myself, and while I was putting it together, a friend came over with her kids and my son, who had been playing at her house that morning. We chatted and I filled her in on where things stood. While she was there, around 2 pm, I commented that I had just had 3 stronger contractions in a row, about 4-5 mins apart. She laughed and said that that didn’t mean much, since I had been talking right through them, and then she left. Within a couple of minutes after she left, it was clear that things were picking back up from the morning and I kept timing contractions, which stayed at 3-4 mins apart, and slowly getting a little stronger. At 2:30 my parents showed up (they had planned to be here for the birth and were scheduled to arrive from out of town that day anyway), and I sent my dad over to my sister’s house to watch her boys, so that she could come to my place for the birth, which was starting to seem like it would happen that day.
Meanwhile, my daughter was getting a little overwhelmed by all the commotion and the big change that was about to happen, so I spent some time with her in her room, talking to her about her feelings, letting her know it was okay to be nervous or unhappy, and just telling her how much I loved her. Every few minutes, I would stop to focus on a contraction, but I was still feeling fairly in control. I also spoke to the midwife again and told her where things stood – she asked me to call her back in 30 minutes to check in. By the time I called back, contractions were 2-3 minutes apart and stronger, but not super strong yet, and I was on the fence about whether I should have her come over yet or not, so we agreed that I would call back in another 30 minutes. Twenty minutes passed and I told my husband to call her and have her come now, as I could feel myself entering labor-land, loosing track of time and having to blow raspberries through the contractions. I could also feel tingling in my cervix, and I was sure that these were productive contractions that were opening me up nice and big for the birth.
When the midwife arrived a little after 4 pm, I was on hands and knees in our bedroom, leaning against the bed between contractions, which were now pretty painful in my back. I remember hearing my son playing outside with my mom and thinking how strange it was that normal life was going on while I was getting ready to deliver this baby. In a few minutes, the birth pool was ready, so I got in and felt a lot of relief from the water for a minute. My son came in around this point and said, “Mama, you’re really going to have your baby today!” I was able to laugh and say, “It sure looks like it, doesn’t it?” Pretty immediately, though, labor got very, very intense. I stayed on my hands and knees for contractions, rocking and circling my hips to try to relieve the sharp pain in my back, and in between I would rest my head and arms over the side of the pool while my husband wiped my face with a cold cloth. I had pictured myself in this exact position when I imagined my labor while still pregnant. After what seemed like a long time of these (but was probably 10-15 mins?), I heard myself give a pushy grunt at the end of a contraction, and I knew that I had to be getting close to the end. Recognizing this really helped me, because the pain of the contractions was really excruciating by that point – I felt like my back was going to rip in two, and they were double-peaking, with one peak, a lighter phase, and then a second peak before finally ending. My daughter was also a huge help – she was my little doula by this time, leaning over the pool, offering me sips of water, holding my hand, and telling me how great I was doing and how much she loved me. The encouragement from my husband and my daughter really helped me think positively and stay in a good place – I kept saying to myself that the only way it could hurt this bad was if it was almost over and there was only one way through the pain.
Once I started pushing for real, it seemed like there was no break between contractions. I was moaning and making lots of noise, sometimes bringing one leg straight out behind me to try to relieve my back. I could feel myself bearing down and could feel the pressure going lower and lower, but when I reached down, I didn’t feel myself open much from the outside and didn’t feel any head. Soon, I felt a bulge move through me, but no ring of fire yet – I knew from my son’s birth that it was probably the bulging sac of waters. Sure enough, it pushed out, stretched tight like a water balloon, still intact. I had it in my hands and could hear the midwives asking me if there was a foot or hand inside. From their angle, I guess they caught a funny reflection in the water that made them think the baby was descending with a foot or hand first. I knew that there wasn’t, but I couldn’t come out of the contraction enough to say anything to anyone, so they just had to get their mirror in place and confirm for themselves that it was just the sack. (The only thing I remember saying out loud after I started pushing was my son’s name to My husband, to make sure he was there for the actual birth.) I think the sack broke in my hands after that – I’m not sure because with the next contraction, I could feel the head and the dreaded ring of fire! I was kneeling back by this time, and as I pushed the head out, I could feel hair and the rounded back of the head – it didn’t register with me at that moment, but the baby had actually turned to anterior, like I had thought. In another contraction (or the end of the same one?), I pushed out the body and brought the baby up to my chest as the midwives helped me sit back. I remember feeling a little stunned – it was a bit of a shock to come out of the intense labor place inside my head and find myself sitting there with a baby in my arms! He was covered in thick vernix and started crying almost immediately, poor guy – I’m sure the birth had been rough on him, too. We stayed in the pool for a few minutes, and then carefully moved to the bed.
The only small hitch came when it took me 56 minutes to deliver the placenta for some reason. Nobody was panicking, but I ended up having to get out of bed and have my husband support me while I held Daniel and squatted, pushing really hard to get the placenta out. Otherwise, everything went exactly as I wanted it to! I had been a little concerned about the number of people who were going to be there for the birth – My husband, my daughter, my son, my mom, my sister, two midwives, and their apprentice – but it ended up being fine. The midwives were great about not speaking around me except what was really necessary, and my mom and sister were in and out with my son as needed, also very quietly. I didn’t feel like there was a big crowd at all, probably because I knew I was surrounded by love.